Monday, April 11, 2005

Saurav -Bashing continues

These every Magazine carries an article about Saurav Gangulys poor form and jokes abt it .Heres one more of the Saurav Bashing ..

The following are some of the ideas for Ganguly to regain form and stay in the middle for a longer duration.(subject to approval by I.C.C)

IDEA NO:1: Plastic Ball or Tennis Ball or Rubber Ball to be used while bowling to Ganguly.

IDEA NO:2: Only one stick should be kept while Ganguly is Batting instead of Three so that his chances of getting out bowled will be minimised

IDEA NO:3: Dada can wrap up his legs with 4 or 5 bats instead of pads, so that there is no chance of getting out lbw.

IDEA NO:4: The size of the ball can be reduced to the size of a lemon or size of his bat can be increased to twice its size. Or the size of the ground can be decreased to that of a Basketball Ground.

IDEA NO:5: Fast Bowlers are prohibited to bowl the following deliveries to Dada.
They should not bowl Inswinger,Outswinger,Off cutter, Leg cutter,Bouncer,Short Pitched Ball, Reverse swinging ball, yorker,reverse swinging yorker,slower ball and most importantly in and around the off stump corridor.

IDEA NO:6: Slow Bowlers are prohibited from bowling off spin,leg spin,doosra,googly,china man,flipper,faster ball.

IDEA NO:7: Speed restrictions for bowlers:

IDEA NO:8 Fast bowlers in their runup should run like Mohinder Amarnath and slow bowlers should not run at all.

IDEA NO:9 Ganguly can change his position as medium fast bowler instead of Batsman and bat at no:11, so that by the time he enters the ground 48 or 49 overs would have been bowled.

IDEA NO:10: I.C.C Should warn Pakistan Bowlers that hereafter any bowler taking Dada's wicket, the number will not be added to the bowler's tally of wickets.

IDEA NO:11: Bowlers should not appeal for dismissal of Ganguly. Even a small appeal (not necessarily loud appealing or excessive appealing) will lead to match refereee Chris Broad suspending the bowler for the rest of the series.

IDEA NO:12: Fast Bowlers should only throw the ball and slow bowlers should use underarm throw.

IDEA NO:13: Even after this if Ganguly gets out, the bowler will be called a chucker and new rule for bowling action, i.e.( 2 degrees bending of bowling arm allowed for fast bowlers and 3 degrees bending of bowling arm for slow bowlers) will be taken into account and the bowler will be immediately sent to Australia by next flight for corrective action.

IDEA NO:14: No fielder should catch the ball hit by Dada. If they catch, then any of the opening batsman who got out earlier, like virender shewag will be allowed to bat for second time.

IDEA NO: 15: For every minute Dada stays in the middle, one run will be added to his score and if the ball hits the bat and travels to the following places, runs will be credited to Dada as follows.
Slip,Gully,Forward Short Leg: 1 run
Mid on,mid off, cover,point: 2 runs
long on,long off,fine leg,third man: 3 runs.

and finally if Dada's wicket is taken before he reaches 50 runs all pakis will be fined 50% of their match fees.

No comments: